Fifteen things probably better left unspoken.

I discovered this post idea from Katie (@overflowingbrain.) We'll see how this all ends.
I am supposed to say fifteen things to fifteen different people. Things I should have said, want to say, need to be said, or maybe just showed up in my head.

Dear People,

1. Please, remember your age. You're far above all of this. Remember you've got your whole life ahead of you. There is no need for you to get caught up in this... Secretly (well not so secretly now) I think you are beginning to lose yourself, and I know that's not fair.

2. I still hate you. And I don't think that will ever change. I hate you because you knew everything and felt the need to use it against me. I hate you for making everyone of my relationships a struggle. I hate you for making me feel like I have to prove myself. I hate you because you should have known better.

3. You are in need of some serious therapy. Keep going. And going, until your parents pockets run dry. Because girl, you need help. And God only knows why I feel the need to suggest that considering how much I still cannot stand you, but maybe that's the good person that hides in me.

4. I'm sorry for being so ridiculously jealous of your perfect normality. I envy it to no end.

5. You may never realize how badly you are isolating yourself. You are forcing everyone to leave you. To walk away. And for you, I am sorry. I want you to realize how much you are hurting yourself. I want you to know, that at this point, you are your only hope.

6. I will always be jealous. I think.

7. I cannot begin to explain how truly, unimaginably sorry I am. You cannot understand how much I would give to make this better for you, easier for you.

8. I want more than anything to show you what you do to yourself. I want to show you that you are not who you see. You are better than that, more than that. And most importantly, you deserve more than that.

9. Thank you. I will miss you.

10. You make my day better. Everyday that I see you. I'm better. Happier.

11. Thank you for every piece of strength that you have inadvertently given me.

12. Sometimes, I want to be you.

13. You've have turned out amazingly. Congratulations, you fought hard for this, and earned it.

14. Let her go.

15. I think I see in you too much of what I want to see. Not what is truly there. For that reason, I'm sorry for thinking you needed what I created.

1 comment

  1. i think i know a few... but it just makes me curious about if im in that jumble.
    i know you wont tell me.
    just thought i would share