A New Year

Tomorrow will mark the first day of a new year.

I like to think that it will be like a fresh start. A time to start anew.
Because, God, 2009 really sucked. All sorts of shit went down, waaayy too many people were lost, and it hurt.

That's really the best way to sum up 2009, it hurt, like a bitch.

We made it though.
Here we are, on the brink of 2010, an entire year ahead of us. It holds so much. Good and bad.

Whenever people are asked, "If you could go back and change something, would you?" There's always the jerk that says no. Are you kidding me man?

There are definitely things I would change in 2009.

I would bring people back. People that deserve to be here, with families that deserve their loved ones. (Although, sorry MJ, you would stay dead.)

I would erase pain, and suffering. Too many people were hurt this year. Too many families and individuals suffered staggering blows. Though many of them pulled through by amazing strength and courage.

I would say more. I would say out loud, "I don't want to go to college." I would tell more of the truth instead of uselessly protecting people. I would stand up for my self more. I would remember that I deserve good too.

2010 is being laid out ahead of us all. We can hope for the best and do what we can to make the good things happen. But really, we're all along for the ride. Now, I don't put much stock into "Everything Happens For A Reason" but I do believe some things just need to happen. (It's not the same, trust me.)

I can't begin to tell you where I'll be at this time next year. I could tell you where I want to be. I could tell you how I hope I'll feel. But I make no promises.

After this year I feel a little smaller. I feel a little less like I know what I can handle. I feel like I know more about who I am as a person, what I stand for, what I want.

I learned a lot this year. I learned a lot about strength, love, hope, courage, and other people. But it's time for a new year.

Bring it on 2010, show me what you got.

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