Layers Apart.

Death is never easy. Grief is different every time.
I never want to get use to either.

Yesterday, a twenty year old Montpelier graduate died in a car accident.
There were no drugs or alcohol involved; he was just going to the gym.

I never had more than a few words with him. But I know who he is, I've met him, I went to school with him.

This has shaken me to my very core. Because each time there is a death in this community I swear it gets closer and closer to people I truly care about. Slowly the layers of separation are being pulled away. Today I saw men, boys, who had lost a dear friend cry. Just... not be able to reckon with this loss. They are the ones that would not be caught dead showing any revealing emotion. And I watched them cry. It broke my heart.

It hurts to watch that. It hurts in the pit of my stomach.
It scares me to think that one of them could be next.
It scares me to think that in my last few months here, and even when I'm gone there is a great chance I will lose someone I grew up with.

No one understands the feeling until they feel it.
It's like fear. But worse because it's sadness too.

His name was Taylor McLaughlin. He was in college, and had friends, and a future. He had a future. He was a good kid. He had such a funky smile, kind of hidden, but a bright one none the less.
His best friend is in pain; I know it.
His mother is lost; I know it.
And here is this community of some 350 teenagers grieving with them.

Because it's not fair. It's not right. And it scares us.

Here I sit with a lump in my throat and I all I can do not to cry is realize that there are so many people in this world that I love, and that are here, with me.
All I can do is thank what ever cosmic force is keeping my people here. Thank them and hope like hell my people keep themselves safe.

Taylor won't be forgotten by his friends and family because they love him. And to them, he was everything.
He won't be forgotten by this community because he didn't deserve this; because no one does.

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