Another Life.

At this point in my life I find myself evaluating where I am and what I am doing nearly every day. I am at a place where every day I am forced to look one, four, ten years ahead.
What will I be doing? More importantly what do I want to be doing?
When I was much younger I had a hundred things I wanted to do when I "grew up." Now though, I'm forced to consider the viability of each, and the reality of each.
A few of my favorites, options that I have kept in mind for years:
  • An archaeologist. I was in second grade when I first learned of King Tut, and the excavation process. I was enthralled to say the least. For a long time I thought this would be my destiny, my calling. I was thrilled with the idea of going on digs and finding things that had been lost for hundreds of years.
  • A hairdresser. What little girl doesn't love styling hair. This is something I have always loved doing. I loved the idea of playing with hair all day long. It always seemed so great to me that people could one day pay me to play with their hair.
  • An architect. I have always had a thing for houses. When I was much younger, whenever we went on a vacation at some point everyone piled into the car and we would drive around to look at houses. My mother has always loved lavish houses, old houses, farmhouses, villas, victorian homes, everything. Maybe I inherited it, but I love them. I love the different styles, the porches, the windows; I love it all.
  • A florist. There is something about having a shop that brings people the joy of flowers that is so appealing to me. The odd thing is I really don't like to receive flowers, I think it's a little silly.
For now I have (sort of) committed myself to a future in writing. Which isn't a bad thing, in fact I think it is a really good thing as whole. Break it down though, and it has it's flaws, to say the least.

How many people can really say, "Yes, I am a successful published author, doing what I love and making enough money to support my small family?" Not many. In fact, very, very few people can say that. That is my only hesitation. It's not that I have a problem doing other work, non-writing work and such, because I don't, I actually expect that. My problem is I'm worried that in five, ten, even twelve years I won't be doing what I love. That worries me.

Maybe that's alright, maybe that's the point. It is just that I don't want that to be alright. I'm not against settling if the situation permits it, but we're talking about the greater part of the rest of my life here. Settling is really not something that should even be mentioned at this point.

I know what I want to be doing. Now, I just need to figure out if it's the right thing.

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