The Weight (Part Six)

I can't believe this is part six. I can't believe I have been doing this- this lifestyle, this diet, this new body thing for two and half years now.

It's almost unreal.

Almost unreal that I've been able to stay down, or keep going down for all this time. As I spent the years before this going up, and up, and up. I stayed stagnant for a while there, not willing to work for it, not being able to muster the energy, the will power, the what have you. But I didn't go back. I never went back up.

But here's the best part- I got on a scale last week.

I don't own one. I don't intend on owning one. And I don't even know where the one in the gym is located. So, this isn't something that happens often. Actually, it only happens when I go to the doctors, which, I did on Friday.

And- are you ready for this? I hit my first ultimate goal weight! Well, technically, if you subscribe to that whole take-off-two-pounds-because-you-aren't-naked (which I do) than I am two pounds under my first ultimate.

I- I still can't even fathom it.

I keep saying the number over and over in my head. I keep catching a glance of myself in the bathroom mirror and thinking, I did it. I finally did it.

I'm not as lean or toned as I may like. But I'm healthy. I have this amazingly healthy body that I have worked so hard for. And I see it now, I can actually see it.

I'll keep working on it. I have to. Not to be skinnier. To feel good about myself. To feel confident when I walk the Miss Vermont stage. To know that I am doing what is best for me- because of me. Because it is what I want to feel and see when I look in the mirror.

I'd be lying if I said this has been a piece of cake the last few days. Knowing now how much I weigh, it's different. I am thinking more consciously about what I am doing and eating. Which, is something that, for me, comes in waves. Give me a week, I'll be back to carbs. But this awareness is what has gotten me this far and what, I hope will keep me going.

Not just until I go on vacation (Bahamas- 32 days!) and not just until Miss Vermont (four full months!) I like this lifestyle new body thing. I like how I look. I like how I feel. And boy, that alone is almost too good to be true.

(Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)