Me Too

To some degree, I don't even know where to begin...

I'll start with this: if you don't know why you've been seeing "Me Too" in your Facebook newsfeed and Twitter timelines, it is time for you to find out.

Much like many things designed to blanket social media in a single unified message, it is really simple (almost too simple.) The idea is that if every woman who has been sexually harassed or assaulted posted "Me Too," or #metoo, the general public would have a better image of how pervasive of a problem it is.

So if you've seen that, now you know.

If you haven't, well, that's a bigger problem.


Because here's the thing, I shouldn't have to name myself as victim for you to understand this is a problem. I shouldn't have to tell you my story to justify the notion that these are pervasive issues. I shouldn't have to join in with a chorus of "me toos" so that someone will believe me.

I don't like this idea that through "Me Too" we are giving a voice to this.

The voices are already speaking, loud and clear. 

There is no reason I should have to use a hashtag to say, what he did was wrong, and just because I was confused, and ashamed, and a year older than him, doesn't mean it has to go by any other name.

I shouldn't have to explain why I had a fear of being in a certain department in my last job.

I shouldn't have to tell cautionary tales to girls my junior about positions I've held.

That shouldn't be a thing.

But it is. And more over, nothing there is new.


This idea that suddenly because another high-profile pig is being called out all over the news and social media that we now need to start talking about sexual assault and harassment is nucking futs.

This happens every day.

And every day someone's voice is silenced because, "it's no big deal," or "that's not what he meant," or "you shouldn't take it so personally," or "maybe you shouldn't have said anything," or "well, did you look in the mirror today," or "it probably wasn't that bad."

I shit you not, all of that, each of those phrases, has been said to me.

So, ask yourself, why in the hell would I want to keep speaking up if that's the shit I get in return?

Can you imagine being in that position?

Can you imagine hearing that your experience is invalid because it makes someone else uncomfortable?

Well, if you can, you're probably a woman.


And that's my problem with Me Too.

If we, as a gender, have the ability to blanket entire social media outlets with the affirmation that we too have been sexually assaulted and harassed, then why the hell aren't they just listening in the first place?

Beyond that, I don't want anyone to feel like they have to say, "Me Too" to be heard, or validated.

There is no time limit on this stuff, and to say that this is the time to speak up and say, "Me Too" doesn't give room for the fact that this is deeply personal, hard, scary as hell, and...

You should never have to say Me Too, on social media, or elsewhere, to make other people believe you, hear you, and support you. 

I can't be okay with the notion that we need a freaking hashtag to convince people that this is real, constant, and serious.

Moreover, I can't be okay with the fact that this freaking hashtag still doesn't cover the notion of why so many sexual assaults go unreported, why we still perpetuate an air of shame, and why you have to claim your survivorship in order to get other people to accept this reality.

So, sure, me freaking too.

But dammit, why do I have throw my story into the ring, and make my pain public, just so that someone out there will believe that this is a problem?

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