Stationary

I am officially stuck here.

I am officially stuck at this school for another year.

I have too many credits to go elsewhere, not enough money to go abroad.

I will be here. Next year, all year.



I don't know that I have ever been so disappointed, in myself, in an institution, in a decision that I made.

I hate it here. I truly do. This place is not my place. This town is not for me. This school is not mine.

And that, knowing that, and knowing that I will - that I have to be here for another year, is horrible.



We have all heard it a thousand times - you wouldn't really want to fast forward through your life, you'd regret it blah blah blah. 

But no, I'd love to fast forward. Just a year, just to graduation. To leaving here, to starting something new, to go somewhere else. To being anywhere else.

Because being stuck here? That, that is not going to be any kind of good.