I want to, oh I want to.
I love the Miss America system for what it has done for me, and the dozens of girls I have met through the program. I was so lucky to get to participate in the Miss New Hampshire program - and truthfully, I would compete in New Hampshire again in a heart beat. (Hi girls! Miss you!) Moreover, the Miss Vermont program has a really special place in my heart. It's given me some of the greatest friends in the world, and inadvertently brought me towards many of the things I am capable of today.
And thanks, really, to dress rooms, the system has given me a greater appreciation for eyebrows, falsies, and the immeasurable value of an extra can of spray tan.
That being said, I work full time. I'm still, surprisingly, not a millionaire. And while a full time service position as Miss Vermont would be wonderful, and rewarding, and what I've been working towards for a long time now, it is a decision that takes a lot of thought. A lot of time. A lot of input from others.
Listen, if you aren't hearing other people on the matter, then don't expect help and support from those same people when you need it. It's my decision, yes. But they don't say it takes a village for nothing.
It is difficult then to commit to a year of relying heavily on others for my decision to take on a position, and a full time job (to which, I'm commuting.) A position that while I would embrace it whole heartedly, takes a lot of time, a lot of resources, a lot of patience, a lot of understanding - much of which will also be coming from the people that are supporting me.
So yes, I'm minding my carbs. I'm still praying for abs. I'm looking at new evening gowns, and talking about borrowing jewelry. And no, I haven't pitched my butt glue yet.
But I'm also considering the financial burden, the commitments I've made for 2016 weddings, what this really could mean for a year of my life.
Of course this all operates on the assumption that if I were to compete again, the result would be a year of service. It sounds boastful in practice, but I maintain if you don't operate as if you will walk away with the job, there's no hope for you.
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