Embracing The Shake

If you follow me on just about any other platform, you've probably noticed that I am officially a Pure Barre instructor in Burlington.

Which has left me feeling like this for the last five days:

No surprise there.

When I found out first thing Friday morning that it was officially official, I cried. Still, no surprise there. It was praise hands, holy moly thank God, relief, and pride, and YAS crying. It was dramatic, it was just big happy tears. And...momentary concern, because in the midst of my excitement my english muffin popped out of the toaster, and you know when it's really hot still, and you put the peanut butter on, and it gets all melty? Yeah, so I cried a few extra tears because I was concerned that my english muffin might get too cold - while I was happy crying - that the peanut butter wouldn't be super melty.

Probably a really solid description of who I am as a person, honestly.

Anyways. It's officially official. This morning I taught my first class at 6:30 AM.

While the process involved a lot of hard work, a lot of patience, a lot of humor, and a lot of trust - I am so glad I went through it. I am so glad I took this leap of faith, and said a giant Yes! This isn't really something I sought out for myself. This isn't something I had in my big plan. It just fell into my lap, in the way these things do.

Exactly a day after I was not-so-happy crying on the way home, when I thought all the good things I had been working towards over the fall had poofed. And just a few weeks after being so royally ghosted by The Meathead. Well, then I got an email, all of a sudden I was just feeling a great big yes on my heart, and I didn't think about it too hard, and I didn't worry about it at all.

I just leapt.

Which, well, I'm not really a leaper. I'm not a hope the net will appear kind of girl. I'm a planner. I'm an over-thinker. I'm a scheduler. I think about the timing, and the logistics, and how it affects that plan that I have. 

But it wasn't about the timing. It wasn't about the 45 other things I swirling around in my line of vision, if I was going to pursue them or not. It was about that feeling you get, right in the pit of your stomach that says, go for it.

So I did, and I don't regret it. There were moments, when I thought the only thing that would ever run through my head would be Pure Barre language, and I would never stop humming the songs. And oh, I found some frustrations in myself. But I don't regret it. 

Getting to this point was hard, purposeful work. Getting this point though means I did something right. It means even though I took that leap, the net did actually appear. Even though it wasn't part of the plan, the timing was totally perfect. Even though it is still going to challenge me every week, it's a challenge I am apparently capable of handling.

Yes, in some part all of this comes back to embracing the Pure Barre community in the same way that I feel that it embraced me from the moment I walked in to that studio. In some way, it is way more. It is about trusting that I was actually going to make it to this point. It is about believing that this passion that I had - that was just a tiny little fire in my heart - had the power to become something way more.

Yeah, that was always going to elicit happy tears, wasn't it?

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