The Run Down and The Return

I realized this morning why I haven't been able to write anything worth publishing in a while...it is because I was keeping so much behind the scenes, every story, and every thing I tried to share was just too vague.

So here's the run down:

Since October I have been feeling pretty deflated, in some of my work, in my mental health, in my physical health, I've just been off.

In November, I went to Creative at Heart in Memphis and cracked my heart open. I hit my stride with some personal short and long term goals, and thought I was back on track.

I wasn't.

I don't know if it was the holidays, the weather, what I was eating, cutting down on my workouts, feeling less than at work, feeling like I wasn't doing enough as Miss Vermont, feeling like my body was just...gone, or all of the above. But I was off.

That's really mostly persisted until the start of January. And I've had a bit of a reset. I'm getting back up to 4 and 5 days a week in the gym. My diet is not holiday-goodies-and-comfort-food focused. I'm still doing my damnedest as Miss Vermont, and reminding myself every day that it goes in waves. My body, well, I'm working on it.

I still have rough days. I still get those feelings of, when the heck is this going to happen for me? But I'm working on contentment...again. I'm working on trusting the process...still.

And, frankly, we've never really done this before guys - but I'm gonna be honest - on a interpersonal level, things have been really good.

I mentioned that I'm trying to be more intentional in my relationships. I'm focusing on lifting others up, on connecting in more ways than tagging people in facebook memes, on generating something that...means something. I've always been the type of person who wants to do so much for the people she cares about, this year I am making it a priority.

Friendships are good, and are something I'm constantly trying to work on.

Miss Vermont, and Pure Barre relationships are something I am working on nurturing, truly, by challenging myself to just give more.

And yes, you might know about The Mountain Man. That's just been the brownie on this 2017 Sundae. But, because I feel like it's only 50% of my story to share, that one's gonna stay behind the scenes a little longer. But I'll say this, it's been really really really good, despite all the shitty things that have happened in the last few months.

That's it. That's the run down, now, let's get back to it.