Gone Grey

I have grey hair.

Not one or two, or even 20 strands, but a lot of grey hair. And in case you forgot, I'm 25.

So, I'll say this, it's enough grey hair that you can always see it. Hair up. Hair down. Hair parted on the right, the left, and in the middle. You can always see it. There are few pieces right at the top of my forehead that everyone likes to point out, but honestly, it's everywhere.

Now, should I be surprised?

No, not really.

My dad has had grey hair since I was maybe 4 or 5 (that puts him in his mid-thirties, if you're keeping score.) And on top of that, I've been sporting "spots" since I was in high school.

The spots, of course, are just vitiligo patches where I've lost the pigment in my skin. It started with one perfect circle on my ankle. Now I have some on my knee. A whole smattering on each elbow. Big three inch patches on the inside of my arms. Most of my wrists are spotted, and it's going up my thumbs too.

So, it shouldn't be a surprise that my hair is losing pigment too.

But, to be 25 with a whole lot of grey hair, takes a whole lot of getting used to.

Especially given that in the last two years or so I have spent a lot of time being photographed and in the public eye.

Y'all, people stare.

Sure, in the scheme of things, it is not the worst thing that could be happening to me. But dang, it takes a lot of building up your own confidence. It takes a lot reminding myself that I am not just my hair. That I am not just my looks. And that, heck, even if I was, my hair color wouldn't make or break me.

And yes, let me hear it, "well you could just dye it!"

Sister, no.

I'm sorry, but did you miss the part where I worked three jobs in a year, and one of them was entirely unpaid? I do not have the money to start dyeing my hair. And heck no do I want to be doing it for the rest of my life.

For now, I spend a lot of time just...getting used to them.

I'm not exactly proud of them yet. I don't hate them though. And given how sharply most people react when they say something to the effect of, "oh my gosh! You have a grey, yeah, right there!" I think that's impressive all on it's own.

Now, I just need to learn to embrace the body that carbs are giving me.

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