And man, that is not a statement I thought I would be writing a few years ago.
Heck, maybe not even a year ago.
It isn't really a secret that I still don't think of myself as an avid runner. And maybe it has more to do with only being two-years-new to long distance running. Which, yes, it is so different. If you can run three miles, congrats, I'm proud of you, that shit is hard. But I promise, it is so so different than running 13.1 miles.
Truly.
And so with most race days, I get a little anxiety, a little turn of stomach.
It happens.
They are called pre-race jitters.
But I'm going to be dead honest with you, this is the most nervous I have ever been for a race. Ever. And I once ran a half marathon two weeks after returning from Miss America, at a time in which I basically wasn't running at all.
So there are two reasons for this mega case of nerves: I've got a time goal. And, last year, y'all I fought so freakin' hard for a finish.
It took literal blood, sweat, and tears (and damn stress fractured feet) to get across the finish line.
I just keep telling myself, I've done it before. I can do it again. And if I can't, I'll be surrounded by 20,000 people that can help me keep pushing through.
Annnnd I've heard it helps to voice your fears, put a name to them, and then get them the hell out.
//
1. I could hurt my foot/knee/hip.
What if I freaking do? Run strong, not fast. Pace yourself, listen to your body, and run the race you need to run.
2. The weather might be too hot.
Sister, it's Florida. If anything is going to prepare me for the VCM in May, it's Florida in February.
3. I might be really slow.
4. What if I can't finish?
5. I think I've heard too many horror stories this year. I keep thinking of all the other race disasters I've seen from fellow runners.
Okay, well mind your own business how about that? If every runner on Instagram's bad endings happen to you, damn sister, you'll have a better story than the whole lot of them.
6. I didn't submit a start time, I could be in a much later corral.
7. It might be harder than I remember.
Girl, without a doubt. But you have literally run this race before, you have already shown yourself you are capable.
8. Running for two+ hours is so hard, and I haven't done that in a year.
9. My stomach has been crazy during my last few pre-races. What if I can't properly fuel?
10. I know I'm going to be finishing much later than Bfield, they're all going to be waiting around for me at the finish line.
Uh, so? They signed up to come to this just like you.
11. Oh gosh, what if it's not too hot, but it rains?
12. I have had a lot of trouble pacing myself properly in my last few training runs. What if I'm too fast right out of the gate? What if I'm too slow?
13. This race is far away. I could forget my socks. Or my headphones. Or my shoes.
Or, it could go really well. It could be perfect weather. I could run my strongest race ever. I could finish faster than my goal time. I could come out of it feeling strong and uninjured and fantastic.
It's not going to help me to worry about it now.
I'm going to eat as well as I can, stretch it out, get just a few more miles in, and run the best race that I can run.
No comments