Itzy Bitzy Teenie Weenie Not So Much With The Bikini

Last year was about losing the weight that I spent 17 years packing on. Last year I went down about 4 pant sizes. Last year I was so successful and I ended up sort of falling in love with who I am when I work out regularly.

This year was different, very different. This year the last thing on my mind was working out. This year I was more concerned with the strength to get up and get through the day than the size of my jeans. This year was not about weight at all.

Somehow though, I lucked out. I didn't gain the 'Freshman Fifteen.' I didn't even gain ten pounds. I actually lost weight. Only about three pounds- but hey, it's not gaining.

As it stands I am in the 'healthy' range. As it stands I am comfortable with what I see in the mirror. Everyone has good days and everyone has bad days, but most days, I can stand to look at myself. That is something I could not have done a year and a half ago.

Here's the kicker, I bought a bikini. I have not own or worn a bikini since before I was in grade school. And I did it, I bought one. I bought it for my cruise in March. But, surprise, surprise, I couldn't muster the courage to wear it in public (though I tried it on about 100 times.)

The goal for this summer is this: wear the bikini in public, outside, near water. I want to do it. I can do it. The super-self-concious-Rylee says I should probably lose about another 7 to 10 pounds before daring to go in public in something that would bare my... midriff. The rational-you-know-better-than-that-and-you-don't-need-to-look-like-Gisele-Bundchen-to-be-beautiful side says differently. I don't know who will win. But that beautiful little black bikini will make an appearance. It will.

After all, I had enough...of me to make it through this year, I can make one goal happen this summer. Can and will.

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