And it got me thinking.
This is not an easy thing to accomplish. While unfortunate, I truly think it is inherent in us to be envious of others. More often than not, we see that manifest into hatred, into sour words about another person. Particularly among young women, this is an honest problem.
Bullying. Slut shaming. General gossip and just plainly jealous and snarky remarks.
We'd be lying if we said, "Oh, well, I don't do that. Or when I do, it's not that bad. I'm not that bad."
We do, we all do it. I'm constantly surrounded by girls my own age, some of whom are skinnier than me, some of whom have longer hair, prettier smiles, more friends, so on, and so forth. That breeds jealously. We don't help each other out by stoking the fire beneath the conversation, bringing up another girl, another flaw, another tidbit of information about someone else.
What is so crazy is, when you get down to it, we are all on the same team.
We're all going to be constantly fighting for respect, equality, and fairness as we walk through this world. We have all got this innate maternal instinct. We've all been taught to want more out of our bodies, out of our looks. We are all assaulted by images of gorgeous and computer-manipulated models, and romantic-nearly-unattainable love, every day.
We are all on the same team. We are all fighting the same fight.
Yet, we continue with the hatefulness, with the envy.
I'm guilty too. But, I think, when I really think about this, the solution just becomes so stupidly simple, so obvious.
Just stop.
Just support the other women in your life.
Just recognize that someone else's accomplishment doesn't mean you have failed.
Just remember that someone else's happiness doesn't result in your unhappiness.
This is my team. And your team. At the end of the day it is just so ridiculous to not support each other, and not to help each other. We don't gain anything from slut shaming, from criticizing her jeans, or how she looks at the gym, or anything. You get nothing from that.
So, really, why do it?
Why not just empower her, support her, influence, compliment, and respect her. Because, here's the thing: if you can do it for someone else. Maybe they can too. And maybe we can put the brakes on this crazy cycle.
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