And Just Go, And Go, And Go

This week I've been having a hard time just, doing life.

I know very well that the tip of this weird funk of an iceberg was not going home for Easter. Because, like all traditions based around merchandise and food, we Fields do a mean Easter. Just, not this year.

This year I went to Koto, on Saturday, after working all day, with just my parents. Surely there was nothing bad about it, but you know what, it wasn't Easter dinner. And waking up on Sunday, not having anyone around, going just to the movies, Price Chopper and Starbucks? Yeah, that actually was no good, at all.

And then, I'm not sure. Maybe this is just some residual effect. Maybe this week is just the fallout from a funky holiday.

But I'm... off. I can feel it.

So I do the things I know to do. I eat the cookie, just because. I wear full makeup, even when I don't want to. I slip into sweatpants, because who cares if my tush looks saggy? I listen to the good music, read the good books. I say the things I know to say.

Live in the sunshine.
This too shall past.
Be positive.
Smile.
Just take it one moment at a time.

All of that is well and good. Sometimes though, even when the little things help, they fight the funk, they bring a little bright in on the day...sometimes even when they help, they don't.

So this week, I've been having a hard time just, doing life.

I have found though, if you just keep going - even when you feel like dung, and just want to sleep, and sort of cry, but mostly sleep - if you just go, and go, and go, mostly slowly, but you go, you end up getting through it.

So, I booked a spontaneous hair appointment, made the extra cup of coffee, gave myself the extra five minutes, and hell, even the benefit of my own doubt. Who knows, maybe next week is just going to be out of this world good.