Post-Grad Check-Up

May has come and gone, but that was the one year anniversary of my graduation.

(Mostly) one year since leaving New London behind.

One year of working my tail off, and looking for that dream job, and trying to make some really big things happen.

One year of not worrying about that dreary town, or some dreadful people, or being woefully alone.

And here I am, more than one year later, and I'll be honest, I'm not even kind of where I thought I would be.

I don't have my dream job.

 I have a great job, a job that is forcing me to grow, and truly is a step in the right direction.

I don't live in the South.

I live in South Burlington though, which is actually crazier considering a year ago I would have laughed at you if you had asked me to move here.

I don't have any unnecessary people in my life.

I have wonderful friends, I see my family all the time, I work with incredibly dedicated people - I'm surrounded by people who aren't assholes, who aren't lying to me, who aren't making me constantly feel less than.

All in all, it looks successful. Maybe a different shade of successful than I had anticipated, but success none the less.

I can't say that even six months ago that I would have felt the same. (Totally just counted back six months to verify that it was in fact February-ish.) I wasn't in a bad place - far improved from fall of last year really. But I wasn't there. And I wasn't seeing that I am getting there.

Granted, I was working two jobs, seemingly constantly. I was solo in Montpelier, living with my family...and need I remind you that this past winter was a doozy? I don't blame myself for not seeing how good it was. And really, I don't think I would be appreciating it so much now, if it wasn't for all the months I spent worrying if this is it.

It's hard to look at who I was in May of 2014, and who I am now. It's hard knowing how seriously I was going to hurt through that summer and fall. It is hard to look at that girl, and know that she had to go through those months, to be this girl.

But what's really exciting? Knowing that what I am doing now, the things I am creating, the career I am building, is going to add up to something even better a year from now. That is so wonderful. That is something I wish I could have told the girl who was so alone and so sad last August.

Girl, it gets so much better.

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