Skinny Wallet, Big Fat Grateful Heart

I was thinking about how much it sucks to not have millions of dollars the other day.

And it's true, it sucks.

I am very aware that there are so many other things in this world that suck so much more. I know there are so many people that have it harder than I do, and have less than I do, and I could spend days talking about my blessings.

But that's not the point.

The point is, I pay rent, I have bills, things cost money - and as lucky as I am - and as wonderful as my life is - I am not where I want to be financially. I want to be able to pay for all that I need to, and save for the future, and wildly use the phrase TREAT YO SELF and mean it.

I can't do that. Realistically I cannot do that, and still be where I want to be in the next five years, and not stretch myself too thin, and continue to work where I work and make what I make.

The point is, I'm living leaner than I ever have before and it is so good for me. 

Truthfully. There is an amplified sense of appreciation for every single thing I have. I have a greater feeling of contentment with the things I have, the things that I do not have, and things I do not need. Oh, the things I do not need - they are plentiful, and being intentional and thoughtful when I purchase anything has increased that list exponentially.

I can't say it's freeing, or relaxing. It's not. I still stress out.

But I am so much more satisfied with everything that has and will come my way. I am so much happier to accept what I have, and what I don't.

I really believe there is power in learning to live through a situation that challenges you to deal with it, dammit. 

Look, there are worse things than being stretched a little thin, and not going out to lunch, and not buying new clothes. But there are also so many things to gain from being happy with every thing you have, from knowing that if you truly need it, it will come to you. And God help me, though this may be a sliver of a taste of what it means to struggle, it sure as heck will force you to open your heart up to whatever comes down the pike.

I'm not in a position to turn down good fortune, or new opportunities just because they are different, or unexpected. And how amazing that a struggle like this is what will force you to appreciate 85¢ yogurt, and your favorite jeans that refuse to give out, and a homemade chicken pot pie, and just getting to work on time, and every other teenie blessing in every day?