When You Are Alone

It might be time to talk about what it means to be good at being alone. I know I am good at it, and I know I have been for a long time.

You can become too good at being lonely. Or you forget how wonderful it can be to not be alone.

Two sides, same coin.

There is a delicate line between too lonely, and blissfully alone. I've walked that line many times. Sometimes you cross to one side for too long. Sometimes you forget that you need to surround yourself with good people, who like good pizza and good movies. Other times you find yourself remembering that a good Sunday spent in bed, isn't so bad after all.

Walking that line, learning when to fall from side to side, it takes practice. Practicing what makes you happy. Learning what leaves a hole in your heart. Knowing when to drive alone, and when you need a co-pilot. It takes practice to know that there is some beauty in being on one's own, and that it can really be as simple as treat yo self.

See, when you let go of the notion that you need other people to manifest happiness, or some form of contentment, you can grab on to the idea that your happiness and your contentment are yours for the making. It's lofty, I know. It's not that easy, I know.

There is sometimes nothing simple about sitting with your aloneness.

Being alone is a conscious act, it's takes work. Of course it is easier send out a desperate text, cling to people that aren't good for you, dive into a crowd that doesn't benefit you. Of course it someday going to be hard to take a Saturday and just be. Be with your 25 Days of Christmas, be with your cup(s) of coffee, be with your noon shower, and two o'clock sandwich.

But if you can stand it, and learn to live in it, you will learn it is not so bad. It's not so hard. It's not so much to learn to be defined only by you - your thoughts, your wants, your needs. To be defined by anyone else is too much. To have all that you are attached to someone else is too much.

Because, where are you then? Where are your quirks, your favorite cereals, your radio presets, your routines? Where are the little pieces that you created when you were alone?

When you are alone you are the one that forces you to grow, to move forward, to try new things, to embrace the parts of you that suck. When you are alone your dreams get to be however big and crazy and wonderful as you want. When you are alone you get to inspire yo damn self. And when you are alone, you get to know you so wonderfully well, that when you aren't alone, when you meet someone else, you'll know if they're for you, because you'll be so sure of what you want, you need, you are.