Then you wake up and it's January, and you're like crap where did this bloat come from?
And then you have flashbacks of cheese dip, and brownies, and a week of eating leftover stuffing?
That is why we have juice cleanses. Seriously. It's not because they taste better than pizza - or really, any solid food. Because they don't. It's because of holidays, and all of the tasty things that somehow became tradition even though they have nothing to do with Jesus, or pilgrims, or the changing calendar.
I had been toying with the idea of purchasing a cleanse for a while now. I signed up for the BluePrint mailing list a while back, and mostly I was just waiting for the right coupon code. And then, one beautiful January morning, there it was, 30% off.
So I did it. I ordered the three-day Renovation Cleanse and set my calendar for a week later. (You can pick your delivery/cleanse date. Which is awesome if you're like me and had weirdly specific plans that revolved around eating a week before. Or, if you're kinder than me, and want to wait to cleanse on a long weekend and spare your co-workers.)
First of all, your 3 day cleanse comes with 18 bottles, (6 a day.) It comes in a 15 pound box, in a cooler bag, surrounded by no less than a dozen ice packs. The Renovation Cleanse is perfect if you already eat your fruits and veggies, you don't really buy chips, and you are ready to reset. (If those aren't you, there is a cleanse that includes a "coffee" option, and is suggested if the idea of juicing spooks you a bit.)
Second of all, there's a bit of prep involved. Easing yourself off dense carbs, animal proteins, dairy, and any refined sugar you are consuming. This is detailed in a totally enjoyable email that doesn't make you feel psychotic for willingly ditching solid foods for three days.
Then, you cleanse.
Obviously it's not easy. It's also not impossible. In fact, considering that I have some perspective now, and I can eat cheese again, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I never felt like I was so hungry that I wouldn't live - the juices are super filling. The only thing that I would have changed is having coffee on the first day (you can add your #6 Cashew Milk to make your black coffee tolerable, which I didn't know and totally should've done.)
The biggest side effects? Burping. Whatever, you're sucking in a lot of air, and you burp. Oh, and you pee honestly every 15 minutes.
The best part? I dropped all of my holiday weight. I went back to feeling so energized, and healthy and capable. It was absolutely a full-body reset. And I would 100% do it again.
I also have to say, the juices were so frickin good. Now, as a lover of solid foods, and all of the things on the pre/post cleanse "no list," I was skeptical of the flavor. I kind of thought I would have to choke them down. Not at all. They were smooth, flavorful, they didn't have an aftertaste - so delicious. I have to say, if you are considering a cleanse at all, you need to look in to BluePrint.
As much as I tortured myself during the three days looking at those damn Tasty videos on Facebook. And googling best sandwiches in Burlington. I really enjoyed it, and the end result was more convincing than anything. I mean, I don't look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy anymore, and that's a plus.
And you have to ease yourself back on to solid foods, dense foods, animal proteins etc. So, onestly, there's almost no way that you can come off of a cleanse and go back to shoveling ice cream down your gullet. I mean you could I guess, but you would totally puke.
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